I began this blog back in March 2007 as an experiment to see if, in fact, a daily dose of Wellbutrin, could help me perform a task consecutively for one year.
Well, March 2008 I had confirmed my hypothesis:
Taking Wellbutrin will keep you blogging for one consecutive year and give you the focus that you need to accomplish your goals.
August of 2008, just three months ago, I started tapering off the drug, and being off it completely now for four weeks, the mental perplexity has begun once again.
Its hard to put in words for those who have never experienced chaotic, short-circuited and uncontrollable brain activity. The child-like giddiness is back and the hyper-desire to tackle anything and everything is with me 24/7. As I reluctantly set out to "achieve everything on my daily To Do List" I find that on my desk still lies:
1. A pile of cooking resumes that were supposed to be mailed out a month ago.
2. Phone calls to Health Insurance companies that should have been made weeks ago.
3. An overflowing IN BOX that was once empty...
But here's the unique juncture:
This is one of the many unnecessary tasks I find myself performing while I stare at my long-awaited To Do List:
1. Attempting to open up a free checking account for my Wheatan after reading about Trouble, Leona Helmsley's Maltese, who was left a plush inheritance of 12 million dollars.
It went something like this:
INT. BANK- DAY
KALI
Good morning.
BANK TELLER
Good Morning, welcome to Citibank. How can I help you?
KALI
I'd like open up a free checking for my dog, please.
BANK TELLER
Your dog?
KALI
Yes.
BANK TELLER
(la-de-da laughter)
We don't open accounts for pets.
KALI
(mocking her la-de-la laughter)
Leona Helmsley left a will for her dog. I'd like a free checking for mine.
BANK TELLER
We don't-
KALI
I'd like to see a manager, please-
BANK TELLER
I'm sorry, what is your name?
KALI
Kali. Kali Karagias.
BANK TELLER
Sounds like a super hero?
KALI
That was racist-
(insert awkwardness here)
BANK TELLER
One moment.
TELLER WALKS AWAY AS KALI PETS HER DOG LOVINGLY. MANAGER ENTERS APPROACHING KALI.
MANAGER
Hi, you must be Ms. Car-a-GEE-iz?
KALI
Not really but OK.
MANAGER
Evelyn informed me that you would like to open up an account for your dog but unfortunately we don't offer services for pets.
KALI
So your racist?
MANAGER
Beg your pardon?
KALI
You won't do it because my dog's black.
MANAGER
It has nothing-
KALI
Leona's Maltese was white and got millions and I can't open up a free checking? Its because he's black, isn't it?
MANAGER
Ma'am, I'm black. Why would I be racist towards your dog?
KALI
Its so typical for a man like yourself to be sexually harassing a piece of ass like myself. I'd like to see the manager, please.
MANAGER
I am the manager.
KALI
No, you're just filling a quota.
MANAGER
Ma'am, if you are going to get belligerent, Im going to have to ask you to leave. With your dog.
KALI
I'm sorry but the comedic timing was perfect-
(insert another awkward pause here)
Can I get the balance on my savings?
************
It's NOT uncommon for someone with uncontrollable ADHD to go to that place and place one's foot in one's very large mouth.
Its lack of impulse control and forgetting the obvious that is the biggest struggle.
Which brings me to this probing thought:
If ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome are both neurobehavioral disorders than can they be congruous in any way? I was so reluctant to even ask this question due to the stigma ADHD has had for so long, the stigma that it JUST DOESN'T EXIST. I am grateful to see that the disease has received some validity by a major media companies like Forbes in the last couple of years. The article, Brain Studies Show ADHD is Real Disease, is worth the read. In last month's,
Business Week, there is an inspirational article regarding the success of Bit Torrent'Bram Cohen and his ability to function with Asperger's Syndrome.
I went to a wake last Tuesday and I thought it would be nice to lighten up the mood of the funeral home so when I walked in and saw the coffin from across the room, I asked the deceased's husband, "Is that the open buffet?"
Is that ADHD, Asperger's or Tourette's?