A.D.D Symptom: Having the uncontrollable desire to slaps people's children.
Today's post was intended as an explanation to my disappearance the last month and two days but when I rarely find myself seated, like I am today in an Upper West Side health club cafe, I can't help but comment on...
All the morons.
That's right! The morons! "Why is Kali so angry?"
The anger stems from watching some overfed bitch-of-a-mother ignoring her spoiled-and-overfed-brat-of-a-son juggle the health club fruit, drop it and then slam dunk it back in the basket as the defunct mother smiles down at him as if her fabulous five year old just spelled the word deplorable. At first glance, some may say this mutinous monster may be ADD symptomatic. I say this mutinous monster is simply a product of people who shouldn't procreate.
The impudent child has a devil counterpart; equally as overfed, equally as annoying. After a brief game of Bachi Ball with club fruit they did not pay for, the terrible eight-eyed twosome begin singing in a tone only tolerable on a shipwrecked island:
"Thwinkle, thwinkle, little thtar! How I wonder what you are! UP ABOVE THE WORLD THO HIGH, LIKE A DIAMOND IN THE THKY...thwinkle, thwinkle litlle thtar, how I wonder what uuuuuu..oooo..RRRRRRR..!!"
As a mother myself, I should be able to cock my head to the side, smile and sigh, "Oh, look, how cute, their both wearing glasses so they could see their ass from their elbow!" as the little urchins sprint laps around cafe tables sadly avoiding a slip-and-fall at every turn.
But I cannot.
I'm not saying this prehistoric clan should be animal-tested on because I don't believe in animal testing nor am I suggesting a future lobotomy. I am, however, suggesting that people like these should simply be let out on a day-pass.