Studies Find Smoking is Good For Your Health

I Smoke

That’s right.  I smoke. 
I smoke one cigarette a day.
I smoke Nat Sherman Mints and I pay ten dollars a pack for them.
Sometimes they get stale and I throw them out.  Even at that price. 
Yep.  Ten dollars. 
Why?  Why not.
That’s equivalent to three cups of Star*ucks coffee and I don’t drink that tar.
I’d rather smoke it.
I like the taste of a luxury cigarette.
Like a luxury car. 
I can feel the smooth buttery leather, cream colored of coarse as I inhale. 
"That's disgusting!  You what?"
I inhale. 
"It is a luxury, I mean, it says it here right on the box" . 
I like the feel of the box. I like the font on the box.
And I smoke one cigarette every night.
That’s 365 a year. 
I will not smoke any other cigarette.
I love the smell.  I love the taste.  I love the experience.
I am addicted to the psychological benefits of smoking.
For some, they suppress one’s appetite, for me , they suppress my anger.
What can be better? 

Will they kill me? 
Maybe. 
Will I regret it?
Most likely.
Will I stop? 
Probably Not.
I smoke at the same time, every night, with or without company.
I like to blow smoke in people’s faces. 
No, not really. 
In fact I am a polite smoker. 
I will not smoke on the streets of New York.
I will not smoke in the park. 
I will not smoke here or there. 
I will not smoke anywhere.
I will not smoke with green eggs and ham.
I will not smoke In public that is.
I will only smoke on my balcony.  In rain or shine.  Sleet. Snow.  Monsoon.  Nuclear fallout.
No, that’s not funny. 
I pretend that I smoke like the dames from the fifties. 
Sometimes I even recite lines from the movies as I smoke.
Look at this guy. 
He’s a big, hot Bollywood actor.
He likes to smoke and looks cool doing it.
I have a vision that he and I will one day smoke together.
Somewhere. 
Maybe on a movie set.
Under a willow tree.
Or maybe after a pilates class.

You should try it.
Everybody's doing it.