OUT OF FOCUS

A Chalk-Free School Zone Along the Information Highway

When friends and family ask me what my college experiences have been like lately , I often find myself falling to the ground and breaking down soap-opera style. No seriously, I find myself often repeating that students appear “a lot smarter” or just more technologically advanced today than the early '90's.  Students today are wired differently because of what they have been exposed to technologically since they were born. 
When I attended college back in the 90’s, I remember using the card catalog in the library, printing on a dot matrix printer and never accessing the Internet. From Chalk Board to Virtual Black Board. And throwing daily tantrums because getting anything done (ie. paying tuition in the Bursar's Office) via customer service usually ended in defeat.  Email was pretty non-existent and classes were pretty linear where homework and tests were still given on paper. Can you say Scantron? The bulk on my news came from purchased newspapers at stands and the majority of my distant correspondence was done via telephone or, believe it or not, “snail mail”.

The Internet has greatly impacted my life positively and has forced me into thinking differently in how I perform everyday tasks. It has also become more scholastically challenging especially for someone who experienced college before the birth of the “information superhighway”.  Today, the majority of my communication is done via email, I organize my daily family life every morning by referring to a digital to-do list that I use (thanks to backpackit.com) and the majority of what I read is read online via a news aggregator that is automatically dumped into a folder in my browser.

I don’t fear the future of technology. I embrace it. Every which way I can.  I am not one of those people who believe that the Internet is making the youth of America socially awkward due to a lack of one on one interaction with each other. In fact, I believe that the Internet has opened a massive gateway for all of us to expand our abilities to communicate with people we never would have had the chance to twenty years ago.  It may decrease our close relationships with friends while drastically increasing the number of people that we can reach on a daily basis.  Before email, that was impossible.

It's globalization at its finest.

When Is Old, Old?

My very dear friend, Ed  Green, a world-renowned voice over artist and the Godfather of the "movie trailer voice", sent me this email today that a friend passed onto him. I don't know where it originated from but it resonated within me. For someone who just celebrated another birthday, the timing to read this could not have been more perfect. 

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old.
I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon
seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I
explained that it was an interesting question, and I would
ponder it, and let her know.
Old Age, I decided, is a gift.   
I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be.
Oh, not my body!
I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging chin.
And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my
mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over
those things for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my
loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly.
As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.
I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avantegarde on my patio.
I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a
bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful.
But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten.
And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.
How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car?
But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.
A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive.
You care less about what other people think.
I don't question myself anymore.   
I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question,
I like being old.
It has set me free.
I like the person I have become.
I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.
And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

Today Is My Birthday!

Wow!  18 days that I have been away from my blog.  I miss this place.  I miss the blogs that I enjoy reading.  I miss my readers.  How have I developed such an affinity for all of you?

Things look different around here.  What did you guys do? I can't tell what has changed.  Is it the font? The words?  Did I really write those words on those last posts?  Was I venting about the tenants again?  Did I harm them? Well I must have missed a dose.

Good news.  I have doubled my dose of Wellbutrin and I am expecting to have a permanent grin on my face starting next week when the new dosage kicks in. But I'm afraid that if I triple my dose, I may end up doing something crazy like spend my life's savings on all the Scott Baio memerobelia.

An update, my fellow readers:

School is kickin' me arse but this one film theory class has seeing life through the eyes of HitchcockKubric (check out this awesome blog entry by BabyWhisperingLoudly on some of Kubrick's work) and is stimulating me more than the male stripper revue  at Harrah's.  It makes me what to take uppers and stay up all night and just write, write, write my scripts.  But I've seen that episode of Family Ties where Alex must take downers to cram for his school exams.

Today, October 8th is my birthday.  I am not of the legal age to run for president.  So I checked out the qualifications in the Costitution, Article II.  You know, the constitution, you know, that one; the one that... if it gets rewritten in Spanish during my lifetime than I am overdosing on Wellbutrin. 

The President must be at least 35 years old.

OK

Born a US citizen.

Really?  I thought the democrats were changing that?

Must have lived here for the past 14 years.

I'm good there.

Must take the oath of office before she can assume her duties.

Just like every other politician, you've got my word.

Must have a valid driver's license.

Didn't Gray Davis take care of that back in '03?

I dunno. There's too much anger in politics. Not to mention too much sensationalism. Being a Mom, a full-time Student, and a Content Creator, I just don't think I could realistically pull it off. Look, there's always next semester.

The older I get, the more humanitarian I get and this year for my birthday I would like to give back to the one I love the most:

My Country.

This is Kali's Birthday Wish. And Second Wish. Be a part of it. Or don't.

I miss you guys.

"U.S. Constitution, Art IV, Sec 4,    

Our government must defend us against INVASION by others. Educate the Public."