Howdy Dooty Spotted on NJ Transit

ADD SYMPTOM: Making the assumption that your friends know what they are talking about.

I took my friends advice today and tried taking the NJ Transit train to Philadelpohia. Well, after life's most dreaded train ride, I never did make it to Philadelphia. Or to class. Instead, I got the long overdue senic ride around Trenton, NJ. If one Googles "What to do in Trention" your search will come up with nothing.
Forget Napa Valley next year, I'm going hit the court houses of Trenton!

So I am playing musical chairs on the train because everyone is just a loud mouth. I don't know whats worse:

I get to Trention and I realize I have to connect to anotehr train that will take me to Phila no less than one hour and I now have to wait an additional hour. I t teh moment I prayed that God had a GPS on my friends ass and have lightenign strike her at that very moment.

So I am waiting on the platform for the next train and I don't know what was worse: the guy sitting next to me talking in a foreign language that souded like he was repeating "dubaba, bumba, dadubaba, bumbada bumba, dadubaba, bumbada" REALLY fast for thirty consecutive mintues. ( I can hear the soothing female voice over in my head now: "Welcome, to the soothing Chinese Water Torchure of Trention". Enjoy your stay.)

So I start playing musical chairs. Just to get away from all the cellphone babbling fools aound me:

White Business Guy In Suit: "Dude? Dude? Are you serious? Dude. Dude, that sucks!"

An Americanized version of Mr Myagi: "Sam, if I go in a tunnel I'm going to lose you! Sam! Sam! Sam!"

Next thing I know Howdy Dooty sits next to me. Just like the puppet from the old TV show. Great! I'm already in a bad mood. The least thing I need is a memory recall of my childhood during a moment of crisis. I swear this girl was the offspring of the television puppet himself; they shared the same firey red hair, the freckled cheeks, the VERY BIG mouth and I swear if I leaned in and took a really close look, her head was made of wood. I think they were also wearing teh same Farmer Ted overalls. She droned on and on about a boyfriend that I'm sure must have been fictionalized and her voice was at a pitch that would send dogs running and gave you chills like nails on a chalk board!

And then I start blaming my parents. Why not? I had no one else to blame at that very moment. I certainly wasn't responsible for spending my day stuck in Trenton. I certainly wasn't responsible for renting a U Haul thirteen years ago and driving all of my college belongings back to my parent's house. No, its their fault. They should have threatened me with abandonment if I was to leave college. They should have had me on house arrest in student housing. Something! Anything! Just so I could have gotten that degree.

I , being a new parent that I am, will know how to handle the situation in the future if my daughter dare leaves college and tells my she's joining the circus. I'll go with her.

Comments

[Yankee Doodle]

"if my daughter dare leaves college and tells my she's joining the circus. I'll go with her."

I'm glad to know you're considering a career in politics.

I understand there is an opening coming up in Washington, beginning in January of 2009; they're beginning the selection process now.

The only requirements are that you be a US citizen by birth, and at least 35 years of age when you begin the job.

There is no requirement that you not have a criminal record, there is no official background check, there is no list of qualifications or anything like that; anyone can apply.

I mention that last part so you will know what kind of losers you may encounter during the application process.

;)

[julian]

....mmm'k, i must remember, when i go to read yer stuff, no liquid nor food substances in my mouth, otherwise, i have constant clean-ups on aisles 9-7 ... your wit is wickedly wondrous!!! thanx fer the smiles ~julian
*hope skoolz rockin!

[MeleVision]

and thats exactly why I never use pubic transportation.