Woman Encounters Bear in Aspen and Hits Speeds of up to 80 MPR on Bike

That's what the headline would have read if someone had spotted me on the bike trails of Colorado.  You know, they say the mountains are relaxing.  Well Id like to know who "they " is and debunk that myth.

It was a hot day in August.  Biking is pretty much the only sport that I can tolerate at a high altitude.I started in Snowmass.   Early afternoon as I headed on down the Rio Grande Trail with just a backpack and its bare necessities:

Bottle of water- for when I start to dehydrate
2 Balance Bars- for when my blood sugar drops
A pack of gum- in case I need to repair a popped tire
A cell phone- for when I need to call a cab

Exhausted after ten miles, I struggled up a small hill when I started to smell in the air that I was very close to Aspen; the familiar smell of L.A. folks trying too hard to be noticed.  So I am on the trail, just me and the bike.  I am past the point of fatigue and
frustration thinking, why the hell didn't I just  go to the hot springs?
All of a sudden, I happen to look at my right and 100 feet away from me, I see a large brown bear the size of a Volkswagen. He was drinking water,  started lifting his head and was about to turn in my direction. 

Do I lay dead  or do I panic?  I went with the wiser choice. I panicked.
The fatigue that was previously building in my thighs dissipated instantly.  I was Wonder Woman on Wheels.  I peddled and peddled.  Peddled as fast as I could and all I could think of was, I shouldn't have embarrassed myself the night I met Billy Idol.  I should have canceled some of my credit cards.  I shouldn't told my mother the day I cut school and drove to the casinos with just my permit.

I refused to look back.  I was convinced that the bear was sprinting behind me, like a runner to a finish line. That damn Balance Bar!  I had eaten one and swore I could smell the chocolate and caramel still lingering off the wrapper in my bag.  Why the hell did I listen to that guy in the bike shop?  Bring something to eat?  Please.  The bear would claw me from behind and tackle me to the ground.  Wait.  The bear was wearing patchouli?  Where's that smell coming from?  It the near distance I saw two hippie chicks walking side by side on the trail.  I started screaming to them, "Turn around!  There's a bear!  Turn around!  You're doing to diiieeee!"  Then one screamed back, "Get off your bike!"  Get off my bike? What was she crazy?  But then I thought, these hippie chicks must be locals.  They must know something I don't know about bears.  I got off my bike and they walked towards me.  One took my bike and the other put her hands firmly on my shoulders.  She looked me dead in the face and said, "You are hyperventilating!  You have to breath.  Breath with me-on the count of three-breath with me" . 

I breathed with her. They told me that it was common this time of year to see bears lingering off the trail and most of the time they wouldn't bother you.  What does most of the time mean?

"Where's your bell?" one of the girls asked me.
"Bell?  What bell?" I asked. 
"If you ever see a bear, you should ring a bell.  It startles the bear and will send her off running".

So the guys sells me two balance bars and a canteen.  What about a bell?  I guess he knew I was from  New York.  And had a sick sense of humor.

If you or anyone you know encounter a bear, here are some tips to staying alive. http://bears.mnr.gov.on.ca/gen_encounter.html

Or if you are thinking of making a career change involving bears, you may want to see this:

 

Comments

[I Eat Snowman Poop]

I bet that bear was laughing at you.

[People in the Sun]

Even I knew bears were scared of bells, and I've never been outdoors.

(Although the hippies were a bit condescending with their "Where's your bell." I would have said something about their butts if I were you).

[Jonathan Glazier]

Kali

Thanks for your comment. I am very luck but also very hard working!! I enjoyed your blog

[Jonathan Glazier]

Kali

Thanks for your comment. I am very luck but also very hard working!! I enjoyed your blog

[Jim]

Kali,

I read this blog two days ago and I am STILL laughing!!! The bit about the Balance Bar was hysterical!!

[buryya]

Hi look my lovely black bears:

http://buryya.blogspot.com/2007/06/hot-in-vienna-zoo.html

[Goldy]

I love the two hippie chicks calming you down but this line made it a double read:

"Exhausted after ten miles, I struggled up a small hill when I started to smell in the air that I was very close to Aspen; the familiar smell of L.A. folks trying too hard to be noticed."

[Yankee Doodle]

That's hilarious!

Didn't you at least check to see if the bear had running shoes on before you panicked?

[Johnny Virgil]

The bell thing is true, btw.

In yellowstone they advise park visitors to wear little bells on their clothes so they make noise when hiking. The bell noise allows bears to hear them coming from a distance and not be startled by a hiker accidentally sneaking up on them. This might cause a bear to charge.

Visitors should also carry a pepper spray can just in case a bear is encountered. Spraying the pepper into the air will irritate the bear's sensitive nose and it will run away.

It is also a good idea to keep an eye out for fresh bear scat so you have an idea if bears are in the area. People should be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear scat.

Black bear droppings are smaller and often contain berries, leaves, and possibly bits of fur. Grizzly bear droppings tend to contain small bells and smell like pepper.