Rubbing Elbows with Crooked Head Vincent

Statistics show that one out of every two New Yorkers has been on Criminal Intent.  I, being one of the two, have also sat alongside Vincent D’Onofrio.  Mine was in a seedy hotel room. But rubbing elbows with D’Onofrio is no different that rubbing elbows with a bike messenger at a red light. 

But they seem to think otherwise in Germany.  And I’m not surprised. German’s can’t be that bright if they don’t laugh at Seinfeld. I received an email from a 17 year old German girl.  This is what it said:

Hello Kali.
How are you? Hope you fine. I just came your channel becaue of your performence in Criminal intent (which was very good!). I'm seventeen year old student from Germany, plan to move to LA to become actress (Hollywood and dream America...),. I hope you could maybe give me one or two advices since you seem to be really professional. hope i didn't disturb you, have nice day
Valda (more) (less).

First of all,  I have to say that I love Valda’s use of punctuation and her command of the English language.

…),. 

Its so Morris Code.  So cryptic. So the following was the one or two advices I gave her.

So this was my response to Valda:

Dear Valda:

Thanks for writing.  Have you ever considered porn?  With the advent of online video content, the porn industry is an exploding market for young talented girls like yourself. 

Best of luck,

Kali Karagias
Vincent’s Hooker for the Day

Here's Vincent.

Comments

[dan leone]

I have a feeling that she would fail at porn too.

I am still laughing at this post! Thanks Kali!

Dan

[People in the Sun]

Congratulations! And you got to be his hooker post his crazy-man-from-Full-Metal-Jacket phase, which is even better.

9 of 10 people in Baltimore have been on The Wire, but my beautiful face hasn't made it yet. Shame. And I never had a German penpal. Maybe I should move to Berlin!. Bye from Baltimore and dream Maryland...),.

[Val]

Hate to be picky, but her punctuation's no worse than yours! Anyway, I'm just jealous because you got to sit next to the lovely Vincent.

(BTW - what's Morris Code? Is it anything like Morse Code?)

[Translator]

Congrats, Kali!

And I love your "advices" that you gave to the girl from Germany..._../.+The punctuation is almost Chinglish in nature ;)

,,.).

[taylorblue]

Maybe the bad punctuation was code for a wink?? Love this post!