Wanted: Business Plan

This past fall, I made the insane mistake of going back to college after thirteen years to finish my Bachelor’s degree. What the hell was I thinking?? There must  a website online that can falsify a document saying that I finished back in ’93?  Couldn’t I just lie my way though life?  I guess its possible but when you have ADD, there this awful side affect of blurting out the truth at the most inappropriate time.  Like at a job interview:

Employer:  So, I see you graduated from Temple?

Kali:  Yes, of coarse.  In ’93.

Employer:  and you majored in…?

Kali: That’s right.

Employer:  You majored in…what?

Kali: Yes.

Employer:  Yes, what?

Kali: That was what I majored in.

Employer:  In what?

Kali:  Exactly.

Employer:  Exactly what was your major?

Kali:  That.  Although I did change it from time to time.

Employer:  Changed what?

Kali: What it was the last time but it wasn’t working out for me.

Employer: What wasn’t working out for you?

Kali:  Most of it..until I found the right major.

Employer: Which was what?
Kali: What we were just talking about.

Employer stands up to shake my hand, thinks for a moment, sits back down  and decides that a hand shake isn’t even necessary.

Employer:  Kali, thanks for coming in but were looking for someone who seems like a better candidate for the job.

Kali:  How so?

Employer:  Well, someone who isn’t…ah..

Kali: Ah liar!  Is that what you’re trying to say?  That I am a liar?  A liar who dropped out of college!

Employer:  I didn’t call you liar-

Kali: Than what were you saying?  Or should I say what were you discriminating against?

Employer:  I wasn’t discrim-

Kali:  Than if you weren’t discriminating against me, why are you throwing me out of here?

Employer:  I didn’t thow you out-

Kali: No but you were about to ask me to leave-

Employer: No, I wasn’t-

Kali: Look whose calling who a liar! Next thing you’re going to tell me is that I have ADD and need some anger management classes-

Employer leans calmly into an intercom.

Employer: Security?

OK, so there’s a good chance that that scenario would never happen…at least in the next couple of weeks it wouldn’t since I’m not sending out job applications but that’s how it usually plays out in my head. And if that’s how it plays out in my head than that’s how it would most likely pan out.

I guess I am experiencing some “school anxiety” since today was the first day of my summer class.  I enrolled for the summer semester in a business class that teaches you how to write a business plan.  Its only a six week class so I figure I have six weeks to find someone to write the business plan.

Here’s the ad I placed on Craig’s List. I posted it on San Fransisco’s Craig’s list so my professor wouldn’t find me:

https://post.craigslist.org/manage/335767518/m5tc5

Lets see who responds.

Comments

[rob]

Funny! :D

[N.B. Goldstein]

Sorry, I don't plan that kind of stuff. If I was to start a business, I'd probably just make it up as I went. Kind of like a "fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" business. Wait a second...A "Fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" business! There's your plan! It's a sort of hang-gliding touristy thingy...or perhaps a small aircraft touristy thingy...or, I dunno. I guess I'm not to good at this business stuff. Sorry!

[N.B. Goldstein]

Sorry, I don't plan that kind of stuff. If I was to start a business, I'd probably just make it up as I went. Kind of like a "fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" business. Wait a second...A "Fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" business! There's your plan! It's a sort of hang-gliding touristy thingy...or perhaps a small aircraft touristy thingy...or, I dunno. I guess I'm not to good at this business stuff. Sorry!